Sparrow golf

    autumn, 2006.

    you’d think after a few of these that it would be somebody else’s turn.  It’s been, what, 15 years since my classmate ran over those raccoons.  It’s been 10 years since the dogs and pheasant.

    The england country club is a flat nine hole course.  every hole goes left including number 5, a 400 yarder.  The tee is a long mound built up about 3 feet.  If you want a hill of any kind you have to build it around here.  The arkansas delta turns tabletop flat east of the arkansas river.  So there’s a little hillock for the tee.

    I was golfing with one of england’s colorful citizens, Mr B.H. ran the England democrat for years before selling to its current owner who also does a fine job with a small town newspaper.  I’m not much of a golfer.  MR. B.H. is pushing 80 and outplays me.  when I came to town to pastor the united methodist church here they told me pastors are allowed to play for no charge.  wow, i suddenly became interested in golf again.  Somebody gave a mismatched set of clubs and i was all set.  you can’t get in much trouble on this course.  even so i’ve managed to raise the water level of the two hazards a good inch, more or less.

    Mr. B.H. was kind enough to ask me to play with him a few times.  It’s exercise for me.  take the total yardage and multiply by two and you have a rough idea of how far i walk pulling my two wheel cart.  But not today.  Today i’m a passenger in B.H.’s golf cart.

    We’re at the 5th hold tee.  I step onto the mound, plant my tee and mount my ball.  I get it all lined up and swing.  I have trouble with my tee shots.  First they don’t go very far.  The arc is always too high so the shot is too short and the ball always goes left, not a good thing.  Today was something completely different.  The tee shot was a low line drive, hugging the ground like a cruise missile looking for a target.  It found one.  The ping of the club striking the ball and the whizzing ball stirred up the flock of sparrows about 20 yards away.   They all made it except one.  It fluttered back down like a badminton shuttlecock missing some feathers.  This one was missing a little more.        rsmitchell 2008